HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious
situations

1. At the movies: When you meet
acquaintances/friends...

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthetic.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people?
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the Seafood Dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We Occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Oh my gosh ...you have grown so much!
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phonecall...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb little moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke!
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle.... it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

DEAD THOUGHTS

TODAY's my birthady...and it doesn't feel good to know that I'm 21. Hey, DEBUT KO (bwahahahahaha)!!!
When am I gonna get some noogie? What does a guy have to do to get laid around here?
Why am I whinning?
I find that the more I think about senseless things, the more logical they become, and the more I try to fathom the relevant the more they seem insignificant.
Why does it take somebody's death for you to think about life?

Memo to myself: STOP THINKING TOO FUCKING MUCH!

Some time during the period that spanned from my last blog to this one I have seen two "Bruce films." One's Bruce Almighty and the other's Hulk.
First up...Hulk. Another one out of the woodwork of the fad of comic book-turned movie, the Hulk innocently retells the classic origin (which in itself is a special treat for those not into comic books) of the green behemoth. Directed b y Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon biggie, Ang Lee, the film begins in the era in Bruce Banner's life after his affair with fellow scientist, Betty Ross (Jennifer Conelly); whereas the comic book version starts the tale with the young upstart, Banner working for the US army.
The special effects are superb, except for some instances where we find the green giant defying both gravity and his physical constraints (most of which occured in during the desert scene). The story is witty enough to keep your butts of\f your seats but has soiled the memory of the comic book by totally deviating the details, which I think is a good thing because it actually offers some logic as to Hulk's origin.
Rating: I give it a 3 out of 5 (ala-Adam Sessler...ayus ba, Donna?)

Then there's Bruce Almighty. With Jim Carey at the helm and a storyline that have raised a lot of eyebrows, I had the initial impression that at some point - and I seriously didn't doubt it - I would hate it. But having a look-see at a couple of scenes really grabbed me to finish the entire story. And Morgan Freeman as God was a great touch, always knew his silent but powerful persona would have a great use other than the inspector from the primordial era. And of course, the film wouldn't be mentioned without commending Jennifer Anisteon on her splendid performance (the pinnacle of which was her prayer scene).
Rating: I give it a 4 out of 5