HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious
situations

1. At the movies: When you meet
acquaintances/friends...

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthetic.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people?
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the Seafood Dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We Occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Oh my gosh ...you have grown so much!
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phonecall...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb little moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke!
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle.... it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

DEAD THOUGHTS

TODAY's my birthady...and it doesn't feel good to know that I'm 21. Hey, DEBUT KO (bwahahahahaha)!!!
When am I gonna get some noogie? What does a guy have to do to get laid around here?
Why am I whinning?
I find that the more I think about senseless things, the more logical they become, and the more I try to fathom the relevant the more they seem insignificant.
Why does it take somebody's death for you to think about life?

Memo to myself: STOP THINKING TOO FUCKING MUCH!

Some time during the period that spanned from my last blog to this one I have seen two "Bruce films." One's Bruce Almighty and the other's Hulk.
First up...Hulk. Another one out of the woodwork of the fad of comic book-turned movie, the Hulk innocently retells the classic origin (which in itself is a special treat for those not into comic books) of the green behemoth. Directed b y Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon biggie, Ang Lee, the film begins in the era in Bruce Banner's life after his affair with fellow scientist, Betty Ross (Jennifer Conelly); whereas the comic book version starts the tale with the young upstart, Banner working for the US army.
The special effects are superb, except for some instances where we find the green giant defying both gravity and his physical constraints (most of which occured in during the desert scene). The story is witty enough to keep your butts of\f your seats but has soiled the memory of the comic book by totally deviating the details, which I think is a good thing because it actually offers some logic as to Hulk's origin.
Rating: I give it a 3 out of 5 (ala-Adam Sessler...ayus ba, Donna?)

Then there's Bruce Almighty. With Jim Carey at the helm and a storyline that have raised a lot of eyebrows, I had the initial impression that at some point - and I seriously didn't doubt it - I would hate it. But having a look-see at a couple of scenes really grabbed me to finish the entire story. And Morgan Freeman as God was a great touch, always knew his silent but powerful persona would have a great use other than the inspector from the primordial era. And of course, the film wouldn't be mentioned without commending Jennifer Anisteon on her splendid performance (the pinnacle of which was her prayer scene).
Rating: I give it a 4 out of 5

So Chedeng has finally left the country, and I am left without a computer...CRAP! So you may wonder where the hell I've been, not having a computer to update blogger and do simple tasks as checking my email really sucks!!!

Anyway, since the last time I posted here, nothing much happened. Oh, well I attended a gig last May 30 at Big Sky Mind. To begin with, I was really surprised to find that it's along E. Rod Ave...I mean, I used to study at UST and I'd pass by that area everyday and I never noticed it!

It also happens to be EBE's birthday. In case you're wondering, "WHO THE HELL IS EBE???" well, he's only the vocalist of one of my favorite bands, Sugar Free. So as a member of the band's mailing list and a fan of both Ciudad and the Itchyworms I attended the gig, also hoping other listers.
The gig was fun, since I did get to meet them, well, a fraction of them, anyway. I also got to meet the bands and even chatted with them.

The weird part was when I got home, I had a terrible headache, peculiar because I didn't drink anything alcoholic that night, noy even BSM's revolting iced tea (according to friends it tasted like something dead had been marinating in it). And when I got home, the gate had been padlocked and I had to wait for another 30 minutes for my nagging mom to open the gate. And the bad news of the night: THEY DIDN'T LEAVE ME DINNER, good thing I passed by 711 before boarding a tricycle.

So to summarize, I had a great night...until I got home!

DEYEY, CAROL, MOREAPOLJUICE, WARHOLE & STEPH... EY! Thank for passing by this blogger, and please do come back...ty!
MARC...You idiot, can't you take a joke? You are so gullible dude! Peace out!

I saw two films over the weekend…


The Matrix: Reloaded

Gone are the days where the audience needs to be spoon-fed the entire plot and premise of a film in order to understand it. There has certainly been advancement in that part; the audience is smarter now and prefers to figure out things on their own, which actually adds thrill and the enigma effect of the film. This revolution of some sort began after the showing of the Matrix, a couple of years back. It wowed a new generation of filmmakers and movie viewers with the ingenious merging of superb visual effects, the non-stop traditional action sequences reminiscent of the kung fu movies we grew up with, stunning cinematography and the twisted but brilliant take on reality. And this generation has been very grateful to Warner Brothers ever since.
A few months ago, along with the showing of The Dreamcatcher was the released of The Animatrix, a splendid series of animated short films on the Matrix's storyline, with all new characters, plots to squeeze the logic out of you and too much eye-candy for the visually diabetic. The first two shorts are 2D animations, the former done in the Akira-Ghost in the Shell kind of gloom and art, while the latter totally blows your mind in true Aeon Flux fashion. The last one, titled The Final Flight of the Osiris, is excellently done in 3D animation, which induces some comparisons to its predecessor, Final Fantasy, in terms of the quality of the graphics. All in all, the Animatrix is a string of new and original stories, if not innovative, created by traditional means in a not-so-new form. It breathes new life into a film inhibited by Keannu Reeves and Carrie Ann-Moss. The Animatrix is an essential fragment of the Matrix Universe, and made me want to kill myself for ignoring the less advertised and less publicized The Dreamcatcher.
And a month prior to the release of Reloaded, a PS2 game was launched featuring not Morpheus or Trinity or even Neo, but Naobe and Ghost, two key characters in the third sequel (I surmise) but introduced in Reloaded. Enter The Matrix carries a different plot but it is, nevertheless, still integral to the Matrix, it has been written that to fully comprehend the entire Matrix franchise, you must play the game. The cast confirms this, telling of scenes and sequences they shot that were exclusively for the game and not part of the movie. Warner Brothers, on the other hand, claims that the game is entirely a new story, and should not be missed.
Now the film comes back with the second installment, The Matrix: Reloaded.
The film starts off innocently with a dream sequence of Trinity on a motorcycle, making a section of a building rooftop explode with it. The scene jumps into a gunfight scene where Trinity is falling off the building and is followed by an Agent. A bullet punctures into her abdomen, killing her instantly. Then Neo wakes up.
A meeting then follows inside the virtual reality called the Matrix (you should have known that by now, shame on you). The people in attendance are talking about the final whereabouts of the Osiris (The Animatrix is integral) when they are visited by two of the agents, who Neo fights as the rest of them escapes. And then he flies off. Yes, in this film, Neo flies. And then we finally get to see Zion for the first time, the only human populated city in the real world. And in it, it is a very comforting feeling to know that not everyone believes that Neo is the one, or that it even matters.
In this movie, Zion is in danger of attacks from the machines that finally locates it, and intends to bring it down. And so as part of the prophecy, Neo is expected to save humanity, so they set off in search of the mysterious Oracle, who is to tell him what to do. Along the way, he encounters Agent Smith played by Hugo Weaving, who after being destroyed in the first Matrix returns somewhat like a virus. Just like when you delete a file or program, its components are not automatically removed. He is no longer part of the Agents (who have been upgraded); and instead he seeks revenge on Neo. And even infects other people to be just like him, both the physical aspects and the dry sense of humor, a far cry from his role as the mind-numbing Elron in The Lord of the Rings. The resultant is a battle between Neo and a hundred or so Agent Smiths.
When Neo finally gets to talk to the Oracle, she tells him that in order to save Zion he must search for the Keymaker, who happens to be a prisoner of a French aristocratic machine. Neo, Trinity and Morpheus battle their way through an ultra-fast car chase scene in a freeway, the Twins and Neo even gets to kiss the mouth-watering Persephone in front of Trinity. After which they finally rescues the Keymaker, who brings them to a doorway leading to the Source who would fulfill Neo's destiny to save Zion. Sadly, as it turns out, he meets the Engineer, who designed the current upgrade of the Matrix and awfully looks like Col. Sanders from Kentucky Fried Chicken, and sadly enough the prophecy had been misleading them. The One was never to save Zion, he was to choose survivors and rebuild it from the ruckus and rubble. And as the Engineer explained, it simply enraged me to know that humanity and Zion has been no different from Sim City or even The Sims, where everytime the Matrix would be upgraded, the city is destroyed and the One would be responsible in rebuilding it. It kinda reminds me of an issue of the Incredible Hulk, where his team, Pantheon, was trying to save the planet, but their leader, Agamemnon, turned out to be a maniacal madman who says, "We topple everything over. The fun is in the building."
And what came would be the greatest annoyance to the audience in attendance, the words in the middle of the screen proclaiming "TO BE CONCLUDED"
The camera swings around the environment in 360-degree magnificence, giving you a sense of absolute space and freedom.
But the dialogue was inconsistent but fun. Once you're listening to the French machine talking about cursing in French as, "It is like wiping your ass with silk." But everything else fall downhill from there, starting with Morpheus' speech. The acting is decent and beleiveable and the graphics are simply magnificent but not flawless! The scene where Neo pauses on air before plunging headfirst into the streets was so obviously CGI, and with the flight scene, you would almost swear that it was Harry Potter on his broomstick. The names of the characters were forgivable, except for Ghost and Link, which in my opinion, were just efforts of making their names cool. And then there's the five-second cameo of Rosario Dawson, who I simply adored, but five seconds?
And most annoying of all was the pumping scene with Neo and Trinity. I completely understand that it was an integral part of the movie, showing that their relationship has gone deeper and it takes the audience a step further, and that the whole damn thing was done in theatrical artsy fart fashion. And I must admit that the switch scene between the sex scene and the Zion party was quite creative, but the whole five minutes were filled with it! You can only see so much porn in your life, and I was flabbergasted that there was such in the film.





Ring 0: Birthday

Since the release of Ring, and after America has once again exploited the Japanese film industry (the others being the entire Godzilla fare and the Akira Kurosawa films) by making a western version titled The Ring (how drolly creative…), the Philippine public has developed a fear for women with long, unruly hair and osteoporosis-infected movement; not that we've had enough of that from the Sex Bomb Dancers and the G Girls.
Oddly enough, the sequence of the Ring storyline discreetly dictates that you watch Ring2 before Ring0. However, with the unavailability of copies of the second installment, and my torturous sense of excitement, I plunged in, guiltily sliding the first disc of the prequel (NOT PIRATED - in case you're getting ideas) before the sequel.
The story starts off with a girl animatedly talking on her cell phone about the cursed video. This scene seems to cue the start of the flashback, with everyone's favorite well-dwelling white lady, Yamamura Sadako. Unfortunately (for horror-buffs and fortunately for the males of this species) this Sadako is an introvert who is at the beginning of her membership with a Tokyo theater troupe, and not the faceless ghoul. Taking place thirty years prior to the original Ring, Sadako has moved into an apartment in Tokyo where she starts anew, away from the island, and away from her origin.
During a play's dress rehearsal, the lead actress is visited by a familiar sight, at least to us: the feet of a girl, garbed in a white dress. By the end of the practice, the lead actress dies, with the all-too-familiar wide-eyed, mouth-agape, terrified look in her face, usually identified with everyone's reaction to the Mahal & Jim Boy's "love" affair. And so, as the understudy for the role, Sadako takes over her part. Along the way, she meets and falls in love with Toyama, the play's sound engineer. Meanwhile, a research on Sadako is being done by a reporter (why is there always a reporter?), which has intrigued the country since the raise and fall of her psychic mother. Since her stay in Tokyo, Sadako has sought help from a psychiatrist, telling of her visions and her dream of her mother.
However, as the reporter digs deeper into the Yamamura family secret, she discovers the unfathomable death of one of the mother's detractors during one of the exhibitions, and comparing that to the death of the lead actress, she deduces that Sadako has inherited the mantle of her mother and is responsible. This does not pass the director's psyche, who fugures it all out by himself and attempts to kill Sadako, but is murdered by Toyama who came to Sadako's aid.
During the play, the reporter enlists the help of Toyama's assistant to reveal to the public the story behind Sadako. The body of the director is then discovered and she is immediately suspected. In a confrontation that followed, the cast clubs Sadako to death. Her body is taken to the island, to her father Dr. Heihachiro, who explains that during her youth, Sadako had split into two; one takes after her father (believed to be a goblin from the sea) and has been sedated with drugs preventing growth, and the second one, had been sent to Tokyo to thwart a possible remerging. However, as it turns out, the cast had killed the wrong Sadako, who comes back to life and finally meets her pint-sized twin. They merge and what follows is a gruesome murder of the cast, including Toyama who admits his love for Sadako before finally biting the dust. Thus is the story behind the television junkie murderer.
First off, as always I admire Japanese ingenuity. Unlike American horror flicks, Ring 0 does not rely on the gulat factor coupled over with the bass-ey sound effects. The movie is utterly quiet, which gives an even more chilling feel to it, sort of like the deafening sound of silence; stillness that denies tranquility and hints that something sinister is amiss. The cinematography is fairly decent…well; honestly, an overactive camera angle wouldn't have worked for it anyway. And as for the lighting, the crew utilizes not the dark gloomy sensibility so characterized with teen slasher flicks, instead to achieve a harrowing and baleful effect they made use of blurring the background.
Another cool thing about the film is the parallelism that cunningly connects Ring0 to Ring and Ring2. Notice that Toyama and Ryuji (Asakawa's estranged husband from Ring) wore almost the same clothes, which answers the question as who was the guy in the video with his face covered by the piece of white cloth, pointing to the cliff and the sea. It's both of them. As a very important part of Sadako's past, Toyama has been embedded in her mind and in her heart, and represents her past. Ryuji, on the other hand, represents her future. Remember that in Ring, Ryuji sees Sadako in the park; since she is psychic, she sees Ryuji's rebirth and their predestined alliance, as seen in Ring2. Didn't I say I admire Japanese ingenuity?
However, there may be some things these people had overlooked. For one, the film failed to reveal the origin of the videotape, as to where and when it began and how exactly did Sadako's anguish and anger got translated to it. During the final scenes with the reporter (and her hilarious gun), Sadako comes after them from the corridor, fear should have taken over by then, but it fails since the actress wasn't as competent and as creative as the one who originally played the role. What we get is a series of absurdly funny movements, as she inches towards her victims, making her look more like a life-seized marionette than a goblin's daughter.
Overall, the film is a piece of art, not exactly as I had expected, unfortunately, but it still is remarkable. Considering that it was actually more like a biography than a distressing picture, it stimulate not fear, (I never thought I'd say this) but pity and empathy for Sadako. Much like finding out that your worst bully came from a depressingly dysfunctional family and eventually understanding why he would pound your head during recess. It has more hits than misses, though.
Oh and well, I guess I'm gonna have to start looking for someone with an original copy of Ring2.

Last Saturday was Christian's birthday. Younger brother sya ni Kenneth (Carol does that answer your question?) and naglasing kami. Incidentally, AdmitOne din yung araw na yun, and I was really planning to attend it because I have to write an article about it for altercation. But I got so BLASTED that night, they didn't let me leave...well, nakakahiya man amining, pero sobrang senglot ko hindi na talaga ako makaka-alis kasi medyo umiikot na paningin ko. Pero I'm very proud na hindi ako yung tipong hindi kontrolado ang speech at hindi ko nakakalimutan lahat ng nangyari!

Then kanina, pinanood namin nina Kenneth, Tua and Arcega ng The Matrix: RELOADED! And the film was so cool! Pero I'll post my review later, I can't think right now, sleep dep.

Ey!
I just saw X2 it was SO astig, pare! The effects on the first X-Film has nothing on it! As a seasoned X-Fan, I must say that it was like a great film ONLY if you pretend to not know anything about the X-Universe. That's because all the X-spin offs (the animated series before, the X-Men Evolution series and the film) have different storylines. But then being the snotty nosed little dickhead that I am, I didn't do that, instead I began looking for seemingly unnoticeable things in the film and OH JOY! Such eye candy! A lot of stuff in store for the X-Fans! And I almost felt like drooling!

One scene (WARNING: SPOILER) was in a tent where Mystique disguised as Jean grey, kissed the utterly smitten Logan, who thought he was gonna get a noogie. But then Mystique morphed (the correct term, not "transformed") into Storm, Rogue and into her true form. That part made me envy Hugh Jackman. I mean, he kissed Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Rogue (ehehe, forgot her name!) before turning into Stryker.

Unfortunately (WARNING: SPOILER), I didn't like the fact that Deathstrike was a puppet controlled by Stryker, that she almost didn't talk (all she ever said in the entire film was "What are you doing here?" refering to Mystique in a janitor's skin) and that SHE DIED! She's supposedly a link to Wolverine's past and she died? I think that was totally uncalled for. I was beginning to like Kelly Hu pa naman.

There's a delicious scene in a bar (WARNING: SPOILER), where Rebecca Romajn-Stamos plays Mystique without her blue make-up. She's all blond and arousing and sexy! Arf! But the scenes that follow are a little over the edge, she almost makes out with a slug of a guy (apparently Magneto's guard) inside the male bathroom cubicle.

But then (WARNING: SPOILER), I was also delighted with Jean Grey's death. And because of that I am definitely waiting for the third installment - PHOENIX SAGA! Astig! Kaya pala I was wondering why Jean's psionic powers were so weak in the first film. It would be cool! So who are they going to cast as Princess Lilandra of the Xi'ar Empire? Or are they gonna make up a tottally different story?

One question though? Isn't Artie (ex-Marauder) green and nose-less? I mean, in the comics, his inhuman appearance was a part of his mutation, why did he look normal (and even had a green two-ended tongue). Are Shadowcat, Jubilee and Siryn even gonna get major parts? Is Rogue even gonna get super strength and the power of flight? If yes, are they gonna make it like the comic books; Rogue steals the powers from Carol Danvers, aka Miss Marvel? Wonder who they're gonna cast...

Looking back, I just noticed that I had been immersed in the Marvel Universe for too long.

I have no life.


Oh well, I'm off to Makati, Birthday ni Christian!

I think this is what Kuya Vin was talking about when he mentioned a "lin-up change." I was thinking about a mamber leaving.

I got this from the Twisted Halo mailing list...

fyi lang po: Anna Piramide is no longer connected with
Twisted Halo. for bookings and inquiries regarding the
band, you can reach Vin Dancel thru
whiteonyellow@yahoo.com, beancurd_1971@yahoo.com or
thru our mailing list - you can join by sending a
blank email to twistedhalo-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

pislabenrakenrol,
vin