[ greyweed ] -- and the bored shall inherit the earth...

bad joke

A couple of weeks back I was having this phone conversation with Her and she was telling about finally getting to talk to an old friend, whom she invited to her kid's christening. Then she mentioned that friend, who was surprised that she already has a child, had asked who the dad was. Instead of just listening quietly I replied:

"E 'di sana sinabi mo ako tatay n'ya. Kakulay ko naman, e."

It was a just a little joke meant to brighten up an otherwise sour story telling session. Nevertheless she went quiet. We both did. I guess she didn't know what or how to reply. And I was in total shock over what I just said.

The joke wasn't really funny at all. My stupid mouth.



weird dream
An obscure dream is often characterized in the movies by psychedelic color schemes and bizarre images popping in and out of the dreamer's consciousness. My dream, last week, had none of those but was just as obscure.

I was standing in the middle of some unrecognizable room, carrying a small, sleeping child (around 1 year old). I [think] I was humming him to sleep. I knew it was a "him." And then the doors creaks open and out comes She, who approached us and took the child in her own arms while saying:

"Halika na, baby. Pagod na si Daddy, e."

When I woke I up I spent a good ten minutes thinking about the dream. Was that my repression screaming, making its presence known? Or is it simply my desire to start a family with Her?

Did I say, "start a family?" I've really gone insane. Nah, as much as I would deny this, truth is that I really do want to settle down. But my financial situation is really not ideal for marriage.

But still, I wouldn't mind raising a child not of my own. I spent months taking care of my nephew, how's her kid gonna be any different?

I need someone to talk to, specifically male belonging to the same age group. Because let's face it every guy needs a support group.
Wacko is now based in Cebu.
Elad is so busy with his thesis.
Who am I left to confide to?